This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
