and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
