i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
