If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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