I am midnight drunk by noon
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
