I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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