That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
