dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
