I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
