You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
