so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I think my moral compass just broke
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