Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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