drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
