I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
