her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
