i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
