Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
