fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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