My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
one two three fourrrrnication!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
