I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
