For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
