But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
