My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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