The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
