Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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