She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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