You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
