I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
