Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
