I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
