i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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