Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
