her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
