then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dear god my vagina.
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