He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
