We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
