Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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