I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
