it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
