I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was not drunk enough for that final.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
