@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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