Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
