i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
