She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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