very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There r osticjed everywhere
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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