it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
