no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
