You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
