Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
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