Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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